Communication and negotiation
Two of these sources come from opposite rooms, a hostage negotiator's and a mediator's, and arrive at the same place: understand the other person's need before you press your own. The third supplies the habits that make that possible under pressure.
AskNex is independent of the authors and publishers it draws on. The books listed here are sources AskNex has read and mapped; the ideas are described in AskNex's words, never quoted, and reading the originals remains the deeper path.
Problems in this topic
The recurring situations AskNex has mapped here. Each opens an orientation built from the books below.
The sources
The books AskNex has read and mapped for this topic, in editorial order.
Ideas that recur
The concepts the most books in this topic contribute to. Where several sources meet is where the arguments happen.
Tactical empathy
Understanding and voicing the other side's position before asking for anything.
Honest communication
Stating observations and needs instead of defending positions.
Win-win and understanding first
Agreements that benefit both sides, reached by understanding before seeking to be understood.
Beginning with the end in mind
Deciding what your life or work should have meant before choosing what to do this week.
Calibrated questions
How and what questions that hand the problem back and make the other side solve it.
Putting first things first
Scheduling the important-but-not-urgent work before the urgent consumes the week.
Proactivity and the circle of influence
Spending effort on what you can affect, which grows it, rather than on what you merely worry about.
Handling pressure tactics
Ultimatums, anchors and deadlines work only if you accept the frame they come in.
Bring the problem.
AskNex brings the sources.
Describe what you are actually trying to resolve in this area and AskNex writes a brief from these sources: where they agree and disagree for your case, and what to do next.
“How do I negotiate without damaging the relationship?”
Free to ask. The brief is generated only when you run it, and kept to your account if you sign in.